New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
