we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
