Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
