Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
