Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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