he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
ttyl tear gas
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize