Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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