Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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