it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
