there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
