i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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