Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
