nut hugger
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
