So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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