y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i barfeds in our rink
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
