i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
