so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
