So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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