I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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