I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
