I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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