Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
