meet me or not, i'm out of control
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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