FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
