sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize