his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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