his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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