Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
