How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
