You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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