Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize