how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
