Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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