Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
