i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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