I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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