I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
