Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
