Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
