it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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