She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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