she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
