Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
