I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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