Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
