Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
