About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
