And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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