these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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