he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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