so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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