lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
