I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
