we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
