I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
