who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
