Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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