I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
