Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
