rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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