my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
