Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
