On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
