The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
