Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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