watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need a beard to bite.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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